the diary of the dead heroine
by Paintball Willie
Summary: sequel to 'the death of a heroine' this can be read first or you can read the DOH first it doesnt matter ive chosen to continue wrighting out of element tell me what you think. story is rated mature because of lots of language and gruesome cenes. enjoy!


_**The diary of the dead heroine**_

**Entry 1:**

Its been a fun and glorious journey so far… Adam doesn't yet know what I have planned for when we marry after the threat from Oblivion has subsided. I still cant believe what's happening. We've already been through kavatch and escorted Martin to Cloud Ruler Temple. We've thwarted the spies, gotten the armor and Daedric artifact, we have the Great Wylkend Stone and now we're gathering allies for Bruma. Well, we already have them… all that's left to do now is fight for Bruma and the Great Sigil Stone.

**Entry 2:**

He's dead… Adam is dead… I was too weak, and too foolish to help him… it should have been me! I should have died in his place! I'm the weak one! Not him! All for this stupid threat from oblivion… pah! I don't care anymore… the only reason I'm going through with this fucking quest is because Adam would want me to press on. Martin tells me everything is going to be alright… fuck him, all he cares about is serving his stupid "Nine Divines" its taking everything I've got not to hang myself in a tree… but I don't deserve such a peace full death… but what if there was another way?

Fast forward to aftermath of crisis

**Entry: 47**

The crisis is over… the fucking crisis is over… whoop de fucking shit… Martin sacrificed himself to defeat Merhunes Dagon… I wish I would have died with him… oh well, Occotto named me "Champion of Cyrodiil"… I don't care… he ordered a suit of Imperial Dragon Armor for me… I don't care… I think I have the chance of a lifetime!... these necromancers came up to me while I was on a journey to find a way to resurrect Adam. They say that it will be a great chance that it will not work but any chance is good enough for me!... after all the tricks I've learned from the crisis… I can make it work… I WILL make it work.

**Entry: 51**

I'm so tired. I've conducted 30 experiments in the past week or so?... I've lost track. Anyway, those beggars were easy prey for me. I needed some of their organs in order to see if I can make Adam a new vessel for his soul. I've preserved his body but his internal organs are badly damaged. All he needs is a new organs and about 50 samples of my blood… which leads me to a problem… my wrists are starting to harden where I've been cutting… the skin is becoming immune to the blade… either that or I may be becoming weak from blood loss… I only need about 20 more pints of blood before I will have enough. Just a small impediment… I should have enough within about a week… though I fear that the blood is becoming to thin from not enough nutrients to consume…

**Entry:62**

Pleasuring myself has become less and less… pleasuring as of late… it feels as though I can't even move my limbs sometimes… Matthias caught me again the other day… he said if I must do it… go deeper into the cave. He also said that I need to be a little bit more careful in any physical activity… weather it "pleasuring one's self" or otherwise… the blood loss is beginning to weaken my body… but I finally have enough blood to begin the slow experiment process. This wouldn't be happening if I would have done something that day instead of watching him die… but no… I had to be stupid and just sit and watch. If only I wasn't so stupid

**Entry: 91**

Damn… the experiment failed AGAIN! I received another "vision" from those stupid gods and goddesses… heh, it was probably just a hallucination from the loss of blood… I'm taking blood from my calf muscle now because a blade will no longer cut my wrists… I also drew a picture of Adam's eagle earring on my upper thigh… I passed out 3 times… but I have enough blood now for a second try just in case… though I wonder… do the Gods really exist?

**Entry: 110**

I just got finished cutting again and still no success… I see no reason to use ink when I have my pretty red blood to write with right now. I only have one more attempt at resurrecting Adam… I was so close this time!. Matthias and Gabriel's bodies served me well. Apparently not only did Adam need an intestine transplant but also he needed new lungs. And he needed fresh, healthy organs. These "visions" are getting more and more annoying with each passing day… they are becoming more persistent and annoying… I bet its just the gods playing tricks on me again… because the last few have been Adam coming to tell me to stop.

(Authors note: entry 110 is written in blood)

**Entry: 144**

The experiment failed in the end… I was so so close too. I managed to resurrect Adam but only just long enough for him to tell me that the experiments needed to stop and that the Divines really do exist. He told me that the gods have reserved me a place in the outer realm for me… despite all of my sins. I can't believe it I can't fucking believe it I don't think I believe him… I've murdered too many people, and stolen many more souls. No… I'm going to burn in hell for all of eternity. But you know what? I don't care. I really do not fucking care. I deserve that and much much more because I killed Adam. I was too weak to save him. So it was my fault.

**Entry: 153**

I believe him. I believe Adam. I received another vision… and he was telling the truth! despite all of my sins, I have been granted the happiness that I've been longing for. I am finally going to be re-united with Adam at last. Apparently the gods have forgiven me of all of my sins because they realized how desperate I am to be with him. If only I could have bore his heirs. Well, it does not matter, I've prayed to the divines every day for the past month now… Adam, I'm coming.

**Entry: 175**

Oh gods. I've finally gotten the necessary gold for my own funeral. They found Adam's preserved body and gave him a hero's burial. That's something he deserves. I will be joining him very very soon because I've been stricken with a fatal disease. A small rat bit me but that's all it took. I know that I am officially going to die… but I'm going to die early. I have everything I need. My suicide note has already been written, the magical shield spell I used to preserve Adam's body has been cast on mine. I have created the spell that will end my life while I plummet to the bottom of the chasm underneath the bridge at the Arcane University… I've already told someone that I plan on killing myself. No doubt that they have informed the guard by now. This will be the last entry in this diary. May whoever finds this know that I, Sarah Ann Lane has died happy… although… I wish there was a way to take back all the bad things I've said about the gods, and martin, and I wish I could undo all of the murders and give back the souls of all those poor people that I have made suffer. Most of all, I wish that I could turn back time and stop Adam's death. But now, it's all going to end here… goodbye… forever

Sarah Ann Lane

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ooh here we go again. another product of my "out of element" wrightings. there and back again is still up and coming but its gonna take a while. merry christmas and dont forget to wright

disclaimer: i in no way shape or form own rights to es4: oblivion... just some oc's 2 copies of the game and some posters... isnt it amazing.


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